One Word — B L U S H

Dec 22

Dec 22 One Word

As the year 2019 comes to a close, one word shaped the entire trajectory of not only the last 12 months but my future. This one simple, single syllable sound is a word many of us say daily but may not realize the implication of what having it truly means. I know I didn’t, until focusing on what it looked like daily replaced any new years resolution or defined goal.

Choosing a word that “centers on your character and creates a vision for your future” is the goal. So one calm Sunday morning in January, I sat down with a cup of tea and clear mind to think about what my word should be. Through the noise of life and list of ongoing responsibilities looping through my mind, I heard a whisper — Trust. An overwhelming sense of calm came over my entire body and I knew that was my word. For somebody who prefers a stronger grip on control, I also knew this was going to be a challenge.

The idea of choosing one word to focus on during the year came from my prior workplace and ultimately changed everything, including my job. The year before had brought some of the broadest range of emotions I had ever experienced. I knew 2019 would be a time for rejuvenation and reflection, but I could never have predicted it would lead to moving away from the comfort of my hometown for the first time in 26 years. When the right opportunity presented itself, I knew I had to trust what life was gifting me. The second day living in my new city, I wrote this poem from the same window table at Temple Coffee that I now type this post.

People have been asking

Why now? Why there?

My answer is in the gingko leaves that cover the sidewalks

The exact color of the tip of a flame

Each step I take feels like a golden future was formed for me

Pieces scooped, shoveled and swept into place

Like the piles of foliage collected on street corners

Midtown is my home now

After 26 years

The City of Trees replaced by the City of Vibrancy

Alive with a million colors from murals painted here and there

Tucked around and folded into quiet corners like stories waiting for me to read

Replaced with coffee shops where I don’t have the menu memorized

With an unfamiliar handsome barista who winks and says “welcome to the neighborhood”

after I order my croissant and iced latte to-go

The sound of cars whizzing by 4 stories below lulls me to sleep

Sirens and laughter and the building elevator closing with a ding

A woman in her 90’s who lives three doors down from me has a small white dog

She tells me she’s “the boss around here” and I believe her

An old man came to fix my heater today

He told me he’s been busy with new tenants who don’t know how to reset their thermostats

I sheepishly raised one hand, say “like me” and thank him

He pads back down the floral carpeted hallway for one more drink before bed

I love everything about this place

I love that I can stumble into any restaurant or shop and not know a soul

I love that I can leave the house and be whoever I want to be, meet whoever I’m meant to meet

Tonight it’s a bartender at Bottle and Barlow

With dark hair and long sinewy hands who shakes me a drink called “Feels like the 1st Thyme”

and it does

Chico, CA taught me some of the greatest life lessons and prepared me for what I needed to leap confidently into the future. Today, a little over a month since I moved, I still get lost going to the grocery store. I get lonely not having all my best friends <10 minutes away at any given moment. I see life at home continuing on without me and it’s strange because so much has changed in my world. I feel like I’ve been plucked into an alternate universe, but placed delicately where I’m supposed to be. Working at VSP Global, I collaborate every day with new incredible coworkers to help people see their world more clearly. Ironically, that’s what this move has brought. Clarity that home isn’t a geographic location but a feeling. I take home with me everywhere I go now.